Lessons From The Wedding

Recently, one of the rehabilitation promoters from ASELSI invited me to her daughter’s wedding. Because of a previous commitment, I wouldn’t have been able to leave with the wedding party on the bus to the wedding location, which was about forty-five minutes away. In this part of Guatemala,  it is common for everyone to travel on a bus or two to the wedding destination, especially when it is not in town.

When I couldn’t find someone to go with me and after battling a stomach issue during the week, I decided to let the family know I would not be able to attend. However, wanting to show my support for the family, I asked for a good time to drop off a gift. They invited me to come over the next morning for breakfast before they all left for the wedding, so I did.

Arriving at 6:40am, I wondered if I were still too early for the 6:30am invitation, as sometimes the time given isn’t really the time you are to arrive. Everyone here understands it, but sometimes my US brain still struggles with it, and I don’t know when to leave. But when I arrived several people were already drinking coffee and eating bread, another common Guatemalan practice. I entered and took a seat. Feeling awkward and out of place, not knowing anyone and realizing most everyone was speaking K’iche, the local language, I was glad to finally see the bride and some of the family. 

A few minutes later one of the nurses from ASELSI, Cecilia, arrived, as well as a couple of the rehabilitation promoters, and I found myself feeling more relaxed, knowing other people. The breakfast was not just a breakfast, but the last breakfast of the bride with her family before she moved to live with her husband and his family. The groom gave the bride a typical outfit, which would be what she would wear for the wedding. The bride’s family gave the groom and his family the bride’s things, including kitchen wares. Prayers were said, but I”m not sure what they were all for because half of them were in K’iche. Then we were served a traditional breakfast with scrambled eggs, refried black beans, fried plantains, and tamalitos with another cup of coffee. One of the ladies sitting next to Cecilia asked her if I liked tamalitos. I think she was surprised to hear that I did. I loved the food.

As I sat there, participating in this special day and recognizing more people that arrived later, I was reminded of the following:

  1. I still have much to learn about taking time to stop and celebrate. People from other cultures seem to know how to celebrate more than we do in the US, or maybe, more accurately, than I do. As a doer, I’m just ready to keep moving on to the next thing. It reminded me of the day long graduations and celebrations we would have with the Bible school students in Uganda. This wedding would be an all day celebration with family and friends. It also reminded me of the days of celebration and rest the Israelites followed in the Old Testament, as ordinances given by God. As I continue to grow in being and doing, I am reminded to take time to stop and celebrate and give thanks for different things in my life and to enjoy the journey. God wants us to celebrate and enjoy one another, too. 
  2. It is a gift and privilege to receive an invitation. I’ll confess that sometimes I begrudge these invitations, and others, knowing they’re going to take so long, I have to get dressed up, I’ll be surrounded by people I don’t know, or I will have go to places I don’t know and do things I’m not accustomed to. Today, I realized with those attitudes I was missing out on the gift of being invited and the family thinking enough of our relationship to want me to participate and celebrate with them. 
  3. By missing the gift, I missed the opportunity to be a blessing. I was reminded that sometimes the best gift we can give someone is our presence. I gave a partial gift of my presence, but next time I want to give more and enjoy the whole experience and look for what God is doing in and through it all. 
  4. I still have to fight fears, insecurities, and pride. I realized I resisted driving myself to the wedding later, after my other commitment, not just because I was not feeling well, but because it meant I would have to go alone. Although there are many things I do alone, for some reason going alone to this social event made me feel awkward, fearful, and uncomfortable. I realized I was thinking about myself, not the family. I’ll keep these things in mind when I want to decline another invitation. I realized I won’t be able to go to everything I’m invited too, but I don’t want to my own fears to be the reason why.

In the end, I am glad I was able to participate in the morning activities and pray everyone enjoyed the rest of their celebrations. I am thankful for the gift of the wedding invitation and the things I remembered, learned, discovered and experienced through it. I wish the bride and groom the best. 

3 Comments

  • Sharon

    February 10, 2020

    I can sure relate Jen! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. God is using your ministry in many ways! Miss you😘

    Reply
  • Susan

    February 10, 2020

    Love this! In fact it fits perfectly with what I’m preaching on next Sunday! Your words could have written the message for me! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  • Carmen Meadowz

    February 10, 2020

    Yes! It’s good to take time to celebrate. I too am a “doer” and tend to move to the next thing (already thinking about the next thing while doing the current thing)! Loved your insight/reflection!

    Reply

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